Why Top Executives Won’t Mentor You

 (And How To Get Them To!)

The other day, a follower wrote about how she approached the VP of her department to mentor her. From the several times they interacted, the VP made a very strong impression on her. As such, she clearly recognized the VP as someone that she could learn a lot from. 

前几天，一位粉丝给我留言，问我她应该怎么找部门的副总来给她一点指导。通过她们之前的几次接触，她对那位副总印象特别深，也清楚地看到副总身上有许多值得她学习的地方。

So this person made the bold move to ask the VP if she’d be willing to be her mentor. She even asked her manager to approach the VP on her behalf. Unfortunately, the VP said “no”, because of her heavy workload.I’m sure this person made every effort to explain how the mentor relationship could benefit not only her, but the company as well. But based how she described her approach, the VP’s response didn’t surprise me at all. 

因此，她做出了一个十分大胆的举动，她去问副总是否愿意做她的导师。她甚至请她的经理代表她去找副总游说此事。很遗憾，副总拒绝了她，因为她工作太忙无暇顾及。她肯定尽了各种努力向副总说明这种师徒关系的好处，最终会受益的不仅是她个人，公司也一样。不过，听完她跟我描述这个过程，我一点都不惊讶她会被拒绝。

People also approach me often to mentor them. Mentoring others is a commitment and responsibility that I take very seriously. It means that I’m going to genuinely help guide a person’s career development. Give him advice to resolve job and career issues. In fact, I enjoy mentoring others. But I still turn down most people. It’s not because I don’t want to help them. Like the VP, it’s because I don’t have the time.

人们经常找我给他们做指导。答应给别人做指导是承诺也是责任，我一向都非常认真对待，因为意味着我要真心实意地去指导一个人的职业发展。给他人建议，指导他们工作，为他们的职业生涯解惑。实际上我很享受这个过程。但我还是婉拒了大部分人。并不是我不想帮他们，而是和那位副总一样，我没有那么多时间。

So if you’re going to approach senior-level people for their career insights and advice, here are some inside tips I can give you. Whatever you ask them for, you want to . . .

所以，如果你想寻求公司高层的看法和建议，我可以给你一些提示。 不管你想问他们什么，你都要. . .

Being a good mentor to someone implies a close relationship. So if you ask me to be your mentor before I even know you very well, it’s not likely that I’ll say, yes. In the beginning, at least, it’s too big of a commitment to expect me to make. So when first approaching someone for guidance and advice, don’t mention a mentor relationship. Don’t make me feel that I need to make a big commitment to you right away. The less formal the better. 

能成为某人的导师，说明他们的关系本来就不错。在我们不熟的时候你就提出让我做你的导师，我大概率不会答应你。至少在一开始，期待我做这样一个承诺有点过于沉重了。因此，你想寻求他人的指导和建议，就不要提让他做你导师这个话题。不要让我感觉我需要马上对你做一个重大的承诺。越不受拘束越好。

Using this person as an example, to raise her chances of getting the VP to respond positively to her, I’d recommend that she not ask her to be a mentor from the very start.

拿这个粉丝举例，想提升副总积极回应她的几率，我会劝告她从一开始就不要问能不能做她导师这样的问题。

Getting someone like me to respond to a couple of questions, however, well, that’s a completely different story. That’s a much simpler, easier level of response and involvement for me to help you. The less complicated the better.

不管怎样，让像我这样的人回答你几个问题，那完全是另一回事。对高管级别的人来说，回答你的问题相对轻松，投入较少。因此尽量让你的问题不那么复杂，越让对方易懂越好。

So instead of asking the VP to mentor her, I’d tell this person to just think of a couple of good questions that she’d like to ask the VP. And for a couple of questions, there’s no need to approach the VP through her manager. Instead, I’d recommend that she write an email directly to the VP and let her know clearly upfront whatever it is she’d like to know from her. In her email, she could say something like, . . .  

所以，与其让副总裁指导她，我更推荐她想几个好问题再去求教。几个问题就没必要让她的经理来搭线。相反，我推荐她直接发邮件给她的副总，让对方清楚地知道她想了解什么。在邮件里，她可以这样说，. . .  

Many people will also ask me very broad, general questions about what they want to know from me. For instance, they’ll ask, “I’d like to know more about your own career development.” Or “I’d like to know how to become more successful at this current stage of my career.”

许多人会问我一些而非常空泛的问题。比如，他们会问。“我想更多地了解你自己的职业发展。”或“我想知道如何在我职业生涯的这个阶段取得更大的成就。”

These questions are too big. I could spend hours talking about them. But if your question or issue is more specific and more reasonable for me to respond to, there’s a much higher chance that I will. The more specific the better.

这些问题太宽泛了。我要是认真聊的话可以聊上个把小时不带停的。但如果你的问题更具体合理，那么我会更愿意作答。问题越明确越好。

So for instance, the specific questions this person can ask the VP could be, . . .

因此，举例来说，这个人可以向副总询问的具体问题可以是， . . .

Most people who approach me to mentor them do so as if I have all the time in the world. I don't. But if you tell me that your questions should only take me 10 minutes or less to respond to them, there's a 10x better chance that I will. The less time it takes me the better.

多数寻求我指导的人好像认为我很清闲。当然不是。但如果你告诉我只需要十分钟甚至更少的时间就可以回答你的问题，那么我回答你的可能性会更高。对我来说，耗费的时间越短越好。

So this person should also let the VP know clearly that responding to her won't take much of her time or effort. For instance, 

因此，这个人应该让副总清楚地知道回答她的问题并不会花费她太多的时间或精力。举个例子，

By the way, don't ever expect or ask busy people to respond to you in writing. While this may be convenient for you, it requires even more time and effort for them.

顺便提一下，不要期望或要求忙碌的人用文字回复你。对你来说可能很方便，但对他们而言，这意味着花费更多的时间和精力。

The reality is, the more senior the person, the busier and less accessible they are. So if you’re going to reach out to high-level people, don’t ask them for too much. Keep your requests informal, simple and easy, specific, and short. The more they feel these about your request, the more likely they'll respond to it. 

现实是，地位越高的人越忙碌，越不易接近。所以，如果你想接触高层人士，不要问他们太多。你的请求不要太正式，要浅易、明确、简略。你的请求越是符合这些条件，他们回复你的可能性就越大。

Do this 2-3 times. Each time they respond to you, express your appreciation to them. It makes us feel good. And when you have some additional questions that you could really use their insights and advice on, use the same approach to present your questions. Even if someone doesn’t say that she’s mentoring you, if she’s responding to your questions, that’s basically what she’s doing.

这样做两三次。每一次他们回复你，你都要向他们表达你的感激之言。这么做会令双方都感觉良好。而当你通过他们的见解和建议产生额外的疑问时，你可以用同样的方式提出问题。即使某人嘴上没说她在指导你，但如果她回答了你的问题，那她实质上就是在指导你。

Once you’ve built a closer connection, where the senior-level person knows you better and has a good impression of you, then you can try approaching her to see if she’s willing to be your mentor. At that time, your chances of her saying “yes” to your mentor request will be significantly higher. As someone with limited time who needs to be selective about who I mentor, I can assure you of this.

一旦你建立了一层紧密的联系，让高层的人更了解你，对你形成一个良好的印象，这样你就可以试着接近她，看她是否愿意做你的导师。到那时，你请求她做你的导师的可能性会显著提升。我可以向你保证，作为一个时间有限的人，他们挑选徒弟会更谨慎。

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