这六种人来找我做职业咨询，对不起，我帮不了你

The 6 Types Of People I Can't Help As A Career Advisor

过去20多年里，我一直致力于为中国的职场人士提供职业指导和建议咨询服务，也成功帮助过多类求职者获得优秀的工作机遇，实现自己职业目标，取得进一步的成功。这些求职者中各有特点：有的看重薪水待遇，有的寻求工作稳定，有的关心职业机遇，有的在意工作和生活平衡，有的追求发挥价值意义，当然也有的资历尚浅、经验不足，跳槽频繁，迷惘彷徨。

During my 20+ years of providing career guidance and advice to people in China, I’ve helped many types of candidates get into better job situations, attain their career objectives, and achieve greater success. This includes ones who only care about money, who seek stability, who want more opportunity, who value work/life balance, who want to do meaningful things, who lack the typical qualifications and/or experience to do something, who have jumpy resumes, and who are lost and confused. Helping people here, especially younger professionals, to better pursue and achieve their career success is what I am dedicated to and passionate about doing.

可是，有一部分求职者我是拒绝给他们提供建议的。因为不管你怎么建议，他们要么不具备事业成功的正确心态或思想，要么过于好高骛远难以接受他人帮助自己又不愿改正。根据我的经验，给以下这六种人提供职业咨询建议基本是无效的。

However, there are certain candidates that I just can’t help. Even though they feel lost, confused, trapped, frustrated, or disappointed about their current situation and seek out your advice, no matter what you tell them, they either don’t have the right mindset or idea about how career success happens, or are too far removed from reality to be coached. Based on my experience, these are the six types that I’ve found very difficult to help.

奢求保证 - 在当今这个节奏快速、日新月异的的世界里，没有什么是一成不变的。虽然我们在做出职业改变时总是希望将风险最低化，这一点合情合理，但是我们必须认识到风险是无法根除且客观存在的。可是这种人一方面不断重诉自己希望改善或改变处境的决心，另一方面却妄想得到保证一切事情如你描述地那般进展。对不起，事实并非尽如人意。

1) The ones who want guarantees – In today’s fast-paced, fast-changing world, there are no guarantees. While it’s reasonable to want to minimize your risk factors whenever making a big job or career move, you can’t eliminate them. These people will tell you how much they want to improve or change their situation, but only if you assure them things will happen exactly as described. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

鼠目寸光 - 你今天所做的每一个决定和行动都会影响你将来的成就。我时常对求职者说：“事业是长久的”。但就是有些人鼠目寸光，只看到眼前或短期利益。他们从不会把目光放得长远，因此最终只会陷入僵局，一败涂地。

2) The ones who only consider the short-term – Every decision, everything you do today impacts what you’ll be able to do and achieve tomorrow. I always tell candidates, “Your career lasts a long time”. But some people never think beyond the immediate or short-term. They never see the future coming and eventually end up in dead-end or highly undesirable job situations.

安于现状 - 有些人只有在自己熟悉的环境中才会感到安逸，虽然自己不喜欢这样的环境却不想离开舒适区。他们抱怨老板不好、企业文化差、或发展机会少，可无论你提出什么样的建议，他们总是莫名其妙地找到理由说服自己继续保持原状。

3) The ones who aren’t willing to change – Some people just don’t want to leave what’s familiar to them, even if they don’t like it. They complain about their boss, company, or lack of development opportunities, but whatever you say to them they somehow find a way to justify staying where they are longer.

过分消极 - 这些人很容易区分，你无论怎么说，他们最终都会说“但是.......”。通常，在这之后他们会提出自己的疑问、表明自己的关注点，进而提出借口或理由反驳为什么你的建议不适用于自己。对于这种总爱说“但是”的人，你要小心。这种人不但喜欢质疑你的建议，还热衷于给自己的失败找借口。

4) The ones who are overly negative – These people are easy to recognize because everything you tell them they respond with the word, “but”. Usually, that’s followed by a doubt, concern, excuse, or reason why your advice doesn't apply to them. Their basic orientation is to question whatever you say and tell you why they can’t do something,

妄想简单粗暴的解决方式 - 我在给予职业生涯意见时总是尝试着和求职者分享一些优秀的职业理念和方法，希望以此能给他们指明正确的方向，让他们在面对各自问题时能够得到一点小启发。可是有些人却总是妄想得到一些可以直接应用到实际问题中帮助自己取得梦寐以求的结果的方法。他们希望答案简单，方法轻松，自己不费吹灰之力。

5) The ones who want a simple, easy formula – When giving career advice, I try to share sound career concepts and approaches that point people in the right direction, and provide practical tips for their situation. But some people just want you to give them a formula that they can apply to achieve the result they want. They want it to be simple, easy, and painless.

坦率地说，我从来没有听说过任何有助于事业成功的工具或现成的实现职业目标的方法存在。要想成功，别无他法，你只有切切实实地努力。爱拼才会赢！

Frankly, I’ve never heard of any career success toolkit or ready-made formula for attaining your career objectives. Achieving the success you seek is nothing short of hard work and effort. You have to earn it!

想要你告诉他应该怎么做 - 我并不是在说那些真心询问我建议和看法的人，而是指问我“你觉得我该怎么做”或者“你觉得这会是个不错的选择吗”的那种人，他们的自我意识极低。无论是我还是别人在给意见，你必须清楚一点，只有你自己才最了解你自己。当然，从别人那里获得一些想法和建议的确有益，但你最终必须意识到，“别人不是你自己”。

6) The ones who want you to tell them what they should do – I’m not talking about those who want my insights or advice on something, but the ones who ask questions like, “What industry do you think I should go into”, or “Do you think this is a good job for me?” Their self-awareness is just too low. Whether it’s me or someone else giving the advice, you’ve got to know yourself better than anyone else. Sure, getting input and recommendations from others is helpful, but you have to recognize that at the end of the day, “They’re not you”.

如果你也像我一样对职业发展和培训有兴趣，那么现在将会是一个绝佳的时机进入这个市场。就我个人而言，我真心享受并很努力地为他人提供我所能提供的最好的职业指导和建议。然而，在寻求职业咨询时，请首先确保你自己不属于上述几类人。你要保持开放包容的心态，脚踏实地，虚心接受意见，千万不要让那些可以帮助你而且愿意花时间尝试为你解忧的人认为自己在浪费时间。

Like many who coach and advise younger people, I genuinely enjoy and try very hard to provide the best career guidance and tips I can to others. In the China market I’m in, in particular, there are certainly many who can use the help.However, there’s a famous line from an old Tom Cruise movie, Jerry Mcquire, where he emphatically tells Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character, “Help me, help you!” If you want others to help you, then you need to have the basic orientation and approach to help yourself first. So if  you’re someone who is seeking career advice from others,make sure you’re not one of the above types. As much as you can, be a person who is open-minded, realistic, and coachable. Otherwise, the people whose insights and advice may be very beneficial your career and who actually take the time to share what they know with you are quickly going to view you as someone that they just can’t help.