家庭主妇如何在职场取得巨大的成功?
How A Housewife Achieved A Highly Successful Professional Career
我是一个非常幸运的人,因为我见过最厉害人就是我的妈妈。我有太多美好的词儿可以来形容她了:敬业、有决心、意志坚定、勤奋、无私、慷慨、勇敢、有远见,还很能鼓舞人心。她对许多人的生活产生了巨大的影响,包括我和我的兄弟姐妹们。同时,她还作为大学教授、教育工作者和咨询师,在公共卫生领域诸如家庭计划、产前护理、艾滋病知识普及、禁烟、环保回收以及烟草替代方案等话题中作出巨大贡献,影响了数以百万计的人。其中通过她的努力获益最多的是那些来自美国贫穷地区和中国农村的人们。
I'm one of those people who is extremely lucky because the most amazing, most inspiring person I know personally is in my family. It's my mom. Dedicated, purposeful, determined, hardworking, selfless, generous, brave, visionary, and inspiring. These are all words that describe her. She's had a huge impact on the lives of many, starting with her three children. But also extending to literally millions of people through her work as a university professor, educator and consultant addressing public health issues related to family planning, prenatal care, AIDS awareness, anti-smoking, waste recycling and tobacco crop substitution. Among those who have benefited the most from her work are those from poorer inner city areas in the United States and rural areas in China.
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在我眼里,她最让我佩服的是,她的生活并不是从一开始的时候就这么丰富且有意义的。完全不是!在她年轻的时候,她也曾经迷失方向,茫然无措,甚至被忽视、被看轻、被人遗忘、被孤立甚至被人认为没有任何潜力。
What makes her so amazing to me is that her life didn't start out looking like it would turn out like this. At all! Directionless, lost, overlooked, underestimated, ignored, isolated, and without potential would accurately describe her reality as a teenager and young woman.
如果你以前关注过我,那么你可能听我说过一些关于她的故事。在生活中遇到困难时,她是那个总是能给予我力量的人,同时也是我最喜欢和别人谈起的人。在一个人人都是学者和成功人士的家庭里,她像是花瓶一样的存在,漂亮却不怎么聪明。当她的兄弟姐妹都去了哈佛、哥伦比亚大学和康奈尔大学的时候,她去了Salva Regina,一个很小的三流天主教大学。在那里,授课的是修女,大多数毕业生都没有正式的工作,学校主要是为了帮助学生毕业之后嫁个好丈夫。但就算在这样的学校里,她也不是个优秀的学生,考试成绩都是“C”!
If you follow me, you may have heard me share some things about her before. Besides being my main source for inspiration when facing tough challenges in life, she's also my favorite person to talk about. In a family of scholars and achievers, she was the dumb, but pretty one. While her brothers and sisters went to Harvard, Columbia, and Cornell, she went to Salva Regina, a small, 3rd tier, all girls, Catholic university taught by nuns. Most graduates didn't pursue serious careers. The school mainly prepared them to attract suitable husbands. On top of this, she was a “C” student!
因此,在那个时候,结婚生子然后成为一名优秀的家庭主妇仿佛就是她的命运。没人觉得她会有能力做其他事情,所以她嫁给了我爸爸。他们的婚姻表面光鲜,但实际并非如此。细节就不再赘述了,总而言之,对她来说那段婚姻并不是一段开心的回忆。
So get married, have kids, and be a good housewife was her destiny. Nobody thought she was capable of anything more. So she married my dad. They had the type of marriage that looked good on paper, but was not a good match in reality. Without going into details, it was not a happy time for her.
当时的妈妈,有着三个年幼的孩子,我们仨当时只有五岁、三岁和一岁。她有着一段不幸福的婚姻,每天都感到无助和绝望,她的生活没有未来也没有机会改变。最终,她因压力过大精神崩溃,住院修养了一星期。在之后的日子里每当回忆起这些,她都将那段时光视为人生的底谷,但与此同时也是她生活巨大的转折点。
So here's my mom, with three kids, ages five, three, and one year old, in an unhappy marriage. Every day feeling hopeless and desperate. With no future or possibility for her life to be more than what it was. Eventually, she had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized for a week. She describes that week as the lowest point in her life. But also the turning point.
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她当时做出了一个非常大胆的决定——回到学校继续深造。所有人都非常震惊,没人觉得这是个好主意!甚至连她的家人也不赞成。当时她大概28岁。作为一名全职妈妈和全日制学生,和其他硕士生相比,她比大家大了5岁,还有3个孩子要照顾,她当然知道未来的路会有多么难走,但困难重重的生活并没有使她停下脚步,她用尽每一分力气和心血来努力读书。
She made a bold decision to go back to school. People were shocked. Nobody said, “What an awesome idea!” Not even her family. She was about 28 at the time. As a full-time mom and full-time student competing with other Masters students five years younger and without three kids to look after, she was in over her head. But that didn't stop her. With every bit of energy and inspiration she could manage, she worked her ass off.
一年后,她仍然只是勉强通过了课程。但一位教授在她身上看到了一些东西,热情、希望与一颗强大的内心。他鼓励她申请博士项目。他告诉我妈妈,他从来没有见过谁像她那样具有潜力。她有生以来第一次听到有人这样夸赞她。
After a year, she was still just barely passing her courses. But a professor saw something in her. A fire. A light. A huge heart. And he encouraged her to apply for the doctoral program. He told her that he had never seen anyone with as much potential as her. It was the first time in her life she had ever heard such words.
于是她申请了博士项目,也被录取了。博士项目的要求更严格,竞争更激烈。但是我的妈妈从那时起则拥有了她以前从未有过的东西——希望。是希望给予她一个愿景,让她一生致力于帮助那些被忽视、不被认可的人们。从那以后,那些曾经低估过我母亲的人后来都对她刮目相看。
So she applied, and was accepted. The doctoral program was twice as demanding and competitive. But my mom now had something that she had never had before. She had hope. And that hope helped give her a vision to dedicate her life to helping many poor and unfortunate people in this worldwho are also overlooked and under recognized. And from then on, anyone who underestimated my mom ended up being impressed or overtaken by her.
Okay,我是她儿子。所以你可能会觉得我对我妈妈到底有多么厉害这个回答太过片面。但多年来,我遇到过很多很多的人,他们是妈妈的同事、合作伙伴或学生。我所遇到的每一个人都津津乐道着我妈妈是多么的鼓舞人心、充满活力以及多么有奉献精神。他们谈论着她出色的领导能力,以及超强的执行力,而这些都是大多数人做不到的。
Okay, I'm her son. So you may think that I'm overly partial to how amazing my mom is. But over the years, I've met many, many people who have been her colleague, collaborator, or student. Every one of them that I meet goes on excitedly about how inspiring, energetic, and dedicated she is. They talk about her leadership and ability to make things happen that most others can't.
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我妈妈与昆明这座城市有着二十多年的感情,她曾在那里的大学和农村工作。她本可以轻松地选择上海和北京,而且她也曾非常希望能在这些地方开展项目,但她最终特意选择了昆明,因为“那里才是最需要帮助的地方。”
My mom has had a 20+ year relationship with Kunming, working with the universities and rural villages there. She could have easily chosen Shanghai and Beijing instead to dedicate her time and effort, and was highly sought to work on projects in those places. But she purposely chose Kunming, because “that's where people need the most help.”
我妈妈已经退休好几年了,但是她仍然继续投身在一些很重要的项目中。去年最后一次去昆明的时候,我陪了她几天,那是一个周末,但大学生和硕士生都纷纷涌入她的公寓,一个接一个的。值得一提的是,我妈妈现在已经84岁了。这些学生不是为了让一位老太太开心而来的,他们是来寻求她的建议和指导。他们是来接受辅导,聆听我妈妈分享她的经验和见解,学习如何撰写建议书以及如何运作项目,把创意变成现实。这是我妈妈在整个职业生涯中所做的最好的事情。
My mom's been retired for several years, but still works on selected projects that matter to her. During her last trip there last year, I went to spend a few days with her. It was the weekend, but university and Masters students were flowing into her apartment, one after another. Mind you, my mom is 84 years old now. These students weren't coming by just to make an old lady feel good. They were coming by to seek her advice and guidance. They came to be mentored. To listen to her share her experience and insights on how to write proposals and run projects to turn big ideas into reality. This is something my mom has done better than many others her entire career.
要是讲起我妈妈的故事我可以讲个三天三夜,但碍于篇幅关系我就再提三点吧。第一点是,我记得曾经问过她,她是如何成功做到这些事的,她是这样回答的:
I could go on and on about my mom, but I'll just mention three more things. The first is that I remember asking her once how she managed to do what she does. This is what she told me.
“我不是最聪明的那一类人,这是肯定的。但是我很有创造力,我相信自己的想法。我总能找到方法去解决事情。如果它不在我的能力范围之内,那么我就会找到一个有这些能力的人,让他们参与进来,并给予他们信任。有了这些,我做成功的事情就会比别人都要多。”
“I'm not the smartest person in the room. That's for sure. But I'm creative, and I believe in my ideas. And when it comes to doing things, I find a way. If it's not within my capabilities, then I find someone who has them, get them involved, and give them the credit. And then, I just outwork everyone else.”
第二点是,人们总是问我:“在我公司王李亚洲资源中‘李’指的是什么?” ,“李”就是我妈妈的姓,Virginia Li。
The second is that people always ask me, “Who's the “Li” in Wang & Li Asia Resources?” That's my company's name. Well, the “Li” is a direct reference to my mom, Virginia Li.
最后一点是,人们总是告诉我,我是多么的充满活力、热情和勤奋。但我总是告诉他们,我都没我妈妈一半强,我不过像个牙牙学语的孩子,模仿大人的一举一动。当人们对我妈妈说类似的话时,我妈妈告诉他们,她只做到了我外婆的一半。她是我公司名字里“李”涉及的另一位,她也是我见过的最厉害的人之一。但是我要把她的故事留到另一篇文章里!
The last is that people are always telling me how energetic, passionate, and hardworking I am. But I always tell them that I'm only half of what my mom is in all those areas. Just a poor imitation. And when people say these similar things to my mom, she tells them that she's just half of what her mom is, my grandma Li. She's the other person that the “Li” in my company name refers to. She's quite amazing too. But I'll save her story for another article!
你见过最厉害的人是什么样子的?
Who is the most amazing or inspiring person you know, and what is he or she like?
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