你父母眼里的完美小孩是什么样的？

How’s the perfect kid like in your parents' eyes?

我还是很幸运的，因为我的父母从来没有期待我们兄妹成为完美的人。他们的确希望我们能够“成功”，但不论我们是什么样的、做了什么、想做什么，他们都非常支持。作为父母，他们觉得最重要的就是让我们成为好人。

I feel very fortunate. My parents never put expectations on my brother, sister, and I to be perfect in any way. Yes, they wanted us to be “successful.” But they supported whoever we were, whatever we did, and whatever we wanted to become. More than anything else as our parents, they just taught us to be good people.

给大家回顾一下，我是在美国土生土长的华裔，上了一所不错的大学，有一个MBA学位。但我一直和人说，我是整个家族最笨的人，至少是学历最低的人。我的父母都是博士，我妹妹也是。我哥哥没有读博，但是是生物化学和MBA的双学位硕士。

To back up a bit, I’m an ABC who grew up in the U.S. I went to a good university and have an MBA. But I always tell people that I’m the dumbest person in my family. At least, I’m the least educated. My mom and dad have PhDs. So does my sister. My older brother doesn’t, but he has two Masters. One’s an MBA. The other is in Biochemistry.

我从小就是家里最随遇而安、容易相处的孩子，喜欢和朋友们到处疯玩。我妈以前总喊我“playboy”（我长大之后知道playboy的意思之后就不许她这么喊我了，都败坏我名声了！）我喜欢运动，经常没事打打篮球、棒球、网球还有踢足球。在家的时候就经常葛优瘫看电视。说实话我没啥大抱负，但是挺讨人喜欢的，也很容易交到新朋友。

Growing up, I was the happy-go-lucky, easy-going kid our family. I just loved running around playing with my friends. In fact, my mom used to call me her “playboy son” (I made her stop saying this as I got older. She was giving me a bad reputation!). I loved sports, so played lots of basketball, baseball, football, and tennis. At home, I was lazy and watched TV a lot. Frankly, I had no ambition. But I was likeable and made friends easily.

我爸爸以前是一名非常优秀的土木工程师，但也没啥大抱负。他跟我一样喜欢运动、喜欢到处认识新朋友，享受生活。但我妈妈就不一样了，她非常专注于自己的工作，并且对自己的职业有着清楚的目标。她希望她能够对别人的生活产生积极的影响，她也做到了。

My dad was a very good civil engineer, but not so ambitious. He was also into sports and being with friends. Like me, he liked to enjoy his life. But my mom was different. She had an incredibly dedicated work ethic and sense of purpose for her career. She wanted to positively impact the lives of others, which she did. 

像很多中国妈妈一样，她曾经希望我可以做一名医生。所以又懒又没目标的我肯定让她很苦恼。我读书也不认真，说实话我都不太在乎以后要去哪所大学，我觉得能跟朋友们一起去本地大学读书就已经很好了。

Like many Chinese moms, she hoped I’d become a doctor. So I’m sure it bothered her that I was lazy and rarely applied myself. I didn’t try very hard in school. In fact, I didn’t really care where I went to college. Just going to the local one with my friends was fine with me.

尽管我爸妈可以严厉管教我，但他们并没有把自己的意愿强加在我身上。他们一直鼓励我、包容我。可能是想让我改改懒惰跟没目标的缺点吧，她一直跟我还有身边的人说我这人会“大器晚成”。她觉得我只要我找到了想要做的事情，就一定可以做的很好。

But while my mom and dad would occasionally discipline me, they never really pressured me to be something that they wanted me to be. They always encouraged me and accepted who I was. Maybe she said it to justify my laziness and lack of ambition, but she’d always tell everyone (and me!) that I was a “late bloomer.” She’d say that once I found what I really wanted to do, I’d do some very good things with my talent. 

她说的没错。二十五、六岁的第一次中国行，让我找到了我想做的事情。那一次旅行改变了我的一生，也是我第一次决定认真对待我的人生。

She was right. In my mid-20s, I had an awakening during my first trip to China. That trip was a life-changing event for me. It was the first time I began to take my life seriously. 

现在，我非常努力经营着自己的事业，虽然有些慢，但我继承了我妈很多优秀的品质。她从不觉得自己做的事情是工作、甚至是职业，她称之为“一生的事业”，对我来说也是如此。

Today, I’m dedicated and committed to what I do. It took me a while, but I’m proud to say that I take after my mom a lot these days. She’s never looked at what she does as a job, or even a career. She calls it her life’s work. It’s the same for me.

但尽管我比以前更有目标了、更努力了、也更有抱负了，我父母对我也没什么不同的。我仍记得有一次我的父亲和我说“只有成为一名得体的、善良的人，才是真正的成功。”我的父母从来不关心我们的学习成绩如何、赚了多少钱，他们只希望我们过的开心，鼓励我们去做我们觉得重要的事。尽管这个社会压力与日俱增，我仍希望我可以这样鼓励我的孩子们，开心地成长，去做他们想做的事。

But becoming more ambitious, harder working, and more purposeful with my life hasn’t changed one bit how my parents view or treat me. I remember my dad once telling me, “Your life will be viewed as successful as long as you’re a decent, kind-hearted person.” My parents never cared about our academic achievements, or career or financial success. Ultimately, they just wanted my brother, sister, and I to be happy, and encourage us to do what’s important to us. Despite the growing pressures of today’s world, that’s the kind of parent I plan to be for my two kids too.