老婆挣得比我多？So What？

How To Handle A Relationship Where The Woman's Career

 Is More Successful Than The Man's

今天是三八妇女节，我特意写了这篇文章，为了我们的女性同胞，也为了那些不需要依靠女人挣得比男人少来找存在感和安全感的男性同胞。

While it's Women's Day today, and I wrote this mainly with women in mind, it's really an article for both women and men. At least, for women and secure men. 

如果你读过我以前写的文章，你会知道我的生活深受女性的影响。深入骨髓！

If you've read some of my previous articles, you know that my life is heavily influenced by women. I mean, heavily! 

我认识的那些牛X的女性！

The women I know kick ass!

举例来说，我的祖母和我的妈妈是我两个最重要的榜样。她们都是杰出的、敬业的女性，她们在自己的职业生涯中做了很多了不起的事情，影响了很多人。此外，我的公司，一个在行业内领先的猎头公司， 80%-90% 的员工都是女性，而且一直以来都是这样。这不是巧合。我们的女性员工一直比男性员工表现更好。至少，在我们公司，她们更投入，更成熟，更专业，更以价值和服务导向，在面对困难的挑战时都更加坚毅。是的！我觉得她们就是比男人强！

For one, my grandmother and my mom are two of my biggest role models. Both are exceptional, dedicated women who did exceptional things during their career that influenced the lives of many. In addition, my company, a leading recruitment firm here, has always employed 80-90% women. That's not by accident. Our women consistently outperform our men. At least, in our company, they're more committed, more mature, more professional, more value and service-driven, and just tougher overall when facing difficult challenges. That's right! I said it. They're tougher overall! 

最后，我老婆在2017年接管了公司的猎头业务，去年的业绩远超我前年在公司创下的成绩。痛！但同时要感谢上帝！这仅是我生活中的一些女性职业能力超过男性的案例。尤其是现在，这个市场上有如此多展示你能力和发挥你全部潜力的机会，会有很多很强的，有能力的女性出现，你要学会适应。这是一个不得不面对的现实。我不确定当老婆挣得比自己多时，大多数老公是不是会感到自在，但我很愿意谈一谈我的看法。

Finally, my wife, who took over our recruitment business in 2017 had a much better year last year than I did the year before. Ouch! But also, thank god! These are just a few examples in my life that represent the ability of women to be more outstanding than men in their career. And especially now, with so many opportunities in this market to show your abilities and develop your full potential, get used to the idea of strong, capable women. This is a reality that's here to stay. I'm not sure how comfortable most men feel about being with a very successful woman, but I'll share my own perspective regarding how I view such a situation.

你们的成功是相互的，而非个人的

It's about mutual, not personal success

我要说的第一件事是，在一个团队中，成功是共生共荣的。你们是作为一个团队才成功，而不是个人。因为在一个团队中，你的成功就是我的成功。事实上，如果只有一个人在一段关系中感到成功，另一个人却不然，你凭什么判定这段关系是成功的呢？

The first thing I'll say is that any successful relationship is about the ability of two people to be a good team together. It's about your success as a team, not about individual success. Because in a team, your success is my success. In fact, if only one person feels successful in a relationship, but the other does not, then how can you view the relationship as successful?

对于女性来说，你不必“扮弱”

You shouldn't need to be less than who you are

作为一名处在一个女性事业比男性更成功的环境中的男性，我要分享一些东西。如果你是女性，我认为你完全不需要为自己取得的成绩而感到抱歉。我不认为你该佯装弱小，或者假装成为你不想成为的人。尤其是在你爱的人，以及那些爱你的人面前。

For situations where the woman's career is more successful than the man's, I'll just share these things. If you're a woman, I don't believe that you should ever have to apologize to anyone else for the success that you're able to achieve. I don't think you should ever have to pretend to be less than who you are, or less than you want to be. Especially around the person you love, and who is supposed to love you.

如果你的另一半有意见，坦白讲，你要认真考虑你们婚后的生活质量，你们的未来。因为，要求别人扮弱，要求别人因为自己的成功而感到抱歉，或者总是担心另一半会不会对自己的成功有意见，这很过分。如果和你在一起的人很难正确看待你的成功，那对不起。你不会拥有一段积极的、健康的婚姻关系。

If you're with someone who has a problem with this, then frankly, you have to question what will be the quality of your life together. You have to wonder what kind of future you'll have together. Because it's a lot to ask of anyone to be less than you are, to feel guilty for being a successful person, or to be concerned about how another person will react to your success. If the person you're with has difficulty dealing with your success, then I'm sorry. You're not in a very supportive, healthy relationship.

这不是一场较量

It's not a competition

如果你与一位既成功又能干的女性相爱，我的建议是你应该庆幸。不要让你的自我和不成熟阻碍你们未来的成功之路。如果你做不到，老实说，你不够man。尤其是在当今这个快节奏、竞争激烈的世界，我所知道的成功的婚姻关系中，共同的努力和两个人的智慧均不可或缺。我提到的成功，不单单指金钱上的成功。拥有快乐宝宝的幸福家庭亦是成功的。当然，除非你对成功有不同的定义。

If you're a man who is with a successful, capable woman, my advice would be to consider yourself lucky. Don't let your ego and immaturity be placed over the success of your future together. If you do, then honestly, you're not much of a man. Especially in today's fast-paced, highly competitive world, the successful relationships that I know of involve the collective effort and talents of two people. When I say successful, I don't just mean financial success. I mean a happy family with happy kids too. That is, unless, you have a different definition of success.

如果你的成功人生里有家庭幸福这一项，那么你就该认识到没有人是全能的。也许你的老婆更有事业心。但你能和孩子相处地很好。可能她特别喜欢工作。但你更喜欢带孩子出去一起享受欢乐时光。也许你喜欢烹饪，而她喜欢阅读和学习新事物。婚姻关系不是较量。跟谁更擅长或不擅长某事没无关。大家好才是真的好，不是么？

If you want to achieve a successful life that includes having a happy family, then you should recognize that no one person can do everything. No one person is good at everything. Maybe your wife is more career-minded. But you're better with the kids. Maybe she enjoys her work more. But you enjoy taking the kids out and spending time with them more. Maybe you're into cooking, while she's into reading about and learning new things. Relationships are not a competition. It's not about who's better or worse at something. It's all good, right?  

明确什么对你是最重要的

Keep sight of what's important

与另一个人拥有一段美满的生活和美好的未来，重要的是你们共同的成功，而不单单是个人的。所以，希望你的另一半和你在一起时感觉舒服么？不论你是男人还是女人，你要意识到他或她为这段关系所做的一切不仅仅是挣钱养家。欣赏他或她对你能力的支持，关心对你重要的东西。感谢他或她关照那些你忙不过来无法照顾的事情。

To have a good life and a good future with someone else, it's your collective success that matters, not just one person's. So want your significant other to feel good about your situation together? Then whether you're a man or woman, recognize the things he or she does for the relationship beyond just making money. Appreciate his or her support of your ability to focus on what's important to you. And appreciate his or her looking after the other important things that you may not have the time or energy to do. 

相互欣赏，相互尊重，相互支持。我希望这些都是你们关系的重要组成部分。亦希望你们的关系能让你们大胆去追求并且能够成为你们想成为的样子。希望你取得个人和事业成功的能力皆能得到你另一半的鼓励和珍视。妇女节快乐！

Mutual appreciation, respect, and support. In celebration of Women's Day, I hope that these qualities are a big part of the relationship that you're in. I hope that your relationship allows you to pursue and become the person that you want to be. And I hope that your ability to achieve the personal and career success that you seek is both encouraged and highly valued by the person you're with. Have an awesome and happy Women's Day!

作为职场女性，你怎么看待，在一段关系里，男性挣得比女性少？

If you're a "successful" woman, what do you hope the guy you're with can understand about you？

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