How To Handle A Relationship Where The Woman's Career
Is More Successful Than The Man's
While it's Women's Day today, and I wrote this mainly with women in mind, it's really an article for both women and men. At least, for women and secure men.
If you've read some of my previous articles, you know that my life is heavily influenced by women. I mean, heavily!
The women I know kick ass!
举例来说，我的祖母和我的妈妈是我两个最重要的榜样。她们都是杰出的、敬业的女性，她们在自己的职业生涯中做了很多了不起的事情，影响了很多人。此外，我的公司，一个在行业内领先的猎头公司， 80%-90% 的员工都是女性，而且一直以来都是这样。这不是巧合。我们的女性员工一直比男性员工表现更好。至少，在我们公司，她们更投入，更成熟，更专业，更以价值和服务导向，在面对困难的挑战时都更加坚毅。是的！我觉得她们就是比男人强！
For one, my grandmother and my mom are two of my biggest role models. Both are exceptional, dedicated women who did exceptional things during their career that influenced the lives of many. In addition, my company, a leading recruitment firm here, has always employed 80-90% women. That's not by accident. Our women consistently outperform our men. At least, in our company, they're more committed, more mature, more professional, more value and service-driven, and just tougher overall when facing difficult challenges. That's right! I said it. They're tougher overall!
Finally, my wife, who took over our recruitment business in 2017 had a much better year last year than I did the year before. Ouch! But also, thank god! These are just a few examples in my life that represent the ability of women to be more outstanding than men in their career. And especially now, with so many opportunities in this market to show your abilities and develop your full potential, get used to the idea of strong, capable women. This is a reality that's here to stay. I'm not sure how comfortable most men feel about being with a very successful woman, but I'll share my own perspective regarding how I view such a situation.
It's about mutual, not personal success
The first thing I'll say is that any successful relationship is about the ability of two people to be a good team together. It's about your success as a team, not about individual success. Because in a team, your success is my success. In fact, if only one person feels successful in a relationship, but the other does not, then how can you view the relationship as successful?
You shouldn't need to be less than who you are
For situations where the woman's career is more successful than the man's, I'll just share these things. If you're a woman, I don't believe that you should ever have to apologize to anyone else for the success that you're able to achieve. I don't think you should ever have to pretend to be less than who you are, or less than you want to be. Especially around the person you love, and who is supposed to love you.
If you're with someone who has a problem with this, then frankly, you have to question what will be the quality of your life together. You have to wonder what kind of future you'll have together. Because it's a lot to ask of anyone to be less than you are, to feel guilty for being a successful person, or to be concerned about how another person will react to your success. If the person you're with has difficulty dealing with your success, then I'm sorry. You're not in a very supportive, healthy relationship.
It's not a competition
If you're a man who is with a successful, capable woman, my advice would be to consider yourself lucky. Don't let your ego and immaturity be placed over the success of your future together. If you do, then honestly, you're not much of a man. Especially in today's fast-paced, highly competitive world, the successful relationships that I know of involve the collective effort and talents of two people. When I say successful, I don't just mean financial success. I mean a happy family with happy kids too. That is, unless, you have a different definition of success.
If you want to achieve a successful life that includes having a happy family, then you should recognize that no one person can do everything. No one person is good at everything. Maybe your wife is more career-minded. But you're better with the kids. Maybe she enjoys her work more. But you enjoy taking the kids out and spending time with them more. Maybe you're into cooking, while she's into reading about and learning new things. Relationships are not a competition. It's not about who's better or worse at something. It's all good, right?
Keep sight of what's important
To have a good life and a good future with someone else, it's your collective success that matters, not just one person's. So want your significant other to feel good about your situation together? Then whether you're a man or woman, recognize the things he or she does for the relationship beyond just making money. Appreciate his or her support of your ability to focus on what's important to you. And appreciate his or her looking after the other important things that you may not have the time or energy to do.
Mutual appreciation, respect, and support. In celebration of Women's Day, I hope that these qualities are a big part of the relationship that you're in. I hope that your relationship allows you to pursue and become the person that you want to be. And I hope that your ability to achieve the personal and career success that you seek is both encouraged and highly valued by the person you're with. Have an awesome and happy Women's Day!
If you're a "successful" woman, what do you hope the guy you're with can understand about you？